Times are tough this year. We're not getting Christmas bonuses here at my workfarm, but some CEO's have proven slick enough to get golden parachutes through the taxpayer-funded bailout (see here). Well, if anyone wants to get me something for Christmas, get me a golden parachute (parachute, not shower). I don't want money; I want an actual golden parachute. And I want matching golden alligator shoes. Not alligator shoes that are gold, golden alligator shoes. I want an alligator fed gold bars from birth until it turns gold. Then kill it and turn it into shoes.
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