All I Want for Christmas...

Times are tough this year. We're not getting Christmas bonuses here at my workfarm, but some CEO's have proven slick enough to get golden parachutes through the taxpayer-funded bailout (see here). Well, if anyone wants to get me something for Christmas, get me a golden parachute (parachute, not shower). I don't want money; I want an actual golden parachute. And I want matching golden alligator shoes. Not alligator shoes that are gold, golden alligator shoes. I want an alligator fed gold bars from birth until it turns gold. Then kill it and turn it into shoes.

Good Morning

The info in About Me (to your right) was taken from this wonderful article by Jack Handey (yes, the Deep Thoughts guy): How I Want To Be Remembered. Here's some more of this fabulous stuff:

He was fabulously wealthy, but he would pretend to be broke, and often tried to borrow cigarettes and money from people. Little did they know that those who gave him stuff would later be rewarded in his will, with jewels and antigravity helmets. Women who refused to have sex with him are probably wishing that they could turn back the clock and say yes.